Don't Have a Cow: Epilogue
by unknown234
Summary: Thanks to her premonition in "Don't Have a Cow", Raven stopped Chelsea from changing the two ladies into livestock. But what would've happened if she failed? Raven gets a sudden vision showcasing how the Baxter family would've handled taking care of the trouble-making cow that was once their daughter. If the story has potential, mind as well milk it!


_Note: This takes place after the ending for the That's So Raven episode "Don't Have a Cow". For context behind this story, please watch the original episode or look up a plot synopsis._

 _Fifteen minutes after Raven stopped Chelsea from taking an accidental bite out of her burger, Chelsea still is baffled from her friend's explanation of her action._

Chelsea: So you're seriously saying if I took a bite out of that burger, we would've turned into cows?

Raven: There's a few other parts to it, but basically, yeah Chels. Ya were what ya ate, and somehow I was too.

Chelsea: Rae, that seems ridiculous even by your vision standards.

Raven: I know Chels, but if you like having one stomach instead of four, better safe than sorry.

Chelsea: I guess. So what was it like? You're still so shaken you haven't taken a bite out of your burger, which I approve of, by the way.

Raven: It was horrifying and it all happened so fast. I'd have hands one second and hooves the next. I'm still looking at my booty to see if there's a tail still there.

Chelsea: There isn't, is there?

Raven: No, is it?

 _Raven stands up quick, turns around, and bends down to show Chelsea her butt. All the Chill Grill customers look at Raven awkwardly._

Chelsea: No Rae, no tail in sight.

 _Raven sighs relieved as she sits back down._

Raven: The worst part is the spell made me think like one too. I ate all the lettuce off the vegetable tray, I mooed out loud when the entire room was silent, and I nearly asked Larry Ficklehorn to come dance with me.

Chelsea: What's wrong with Larry, he's a nice guy!

Raven: Larry had a bull costume on, Chels!

Chelsea: Geez, was I any better?

Raven: No, you seemed too comfortable with being a cow.

Chelsea: Eh, sounds about right.

 _Chelsea finishes drinking her water._

Chelsea: So after the party ended, what happened?

Raven: I don't know, the vision stopped after we were fully transformed and won the costume contest.

Chelsea: So you don't know if we would've stayed cows or not?

Raven: No, and I don't wanna know.

 _Raven picks up her burger and points at it._

Raven: Turning into this was terrifying enough girl! Besides, even if I did wanna know, I stopped you from eating this, so I can't have a vision of what that would be…

 _Raven stops mid-sentence and stares into space. She enters into another one of her visions and into a newer, yet familiar body._

 _Victor arrives in the Baxter house with scraps of hay all over his clothes. Given Victor tends to wear heavy collared Hawaiian shirts, he's not happy with how dirty they've been lately. Tanya is in the kitchen preparing a bowl of corn._

Victor: Phew, OK! Just unloaded a hundred pounds of hay into the backyard, how long should that cover us?

Tanya: Well given her diet I'd say… four days at best.

Victor: Four days? You know how long it took me to get that out of the market? And the time it took me to get to it?

Tanya: Well, ya might have to get used to it soon Farmer Baxter, cause I just got off the phone with Viv.

Victor: How's it looking?

 _Tanya sighs as she pours the small bowl of corn into a larger bowl._

Tanya: Well she said to obtain the ingredients for a reversal spell, she'll need a lot of time…

Victor: How much time?

Tanya: Well… a few weeks, months… maybe a year?

Victor: A year? I can't go on with this for a year!

Tanya: How do you think she feels about this?

Victor: I'm sorry, it's just that if they see her in the backyard and know that I run the Chill Grill, people are gonna start to get ideas…

Tanya: One problem at a time honey. If I can put off law school a little longer, you can deal with creepy customers, all right?

Victor: Yeah, I guess you're right…

 _Victor then smiles slightly as the corn smells like the freshest thing he's smelled in a while._

Victor: If this corn looks as good as it smells, then I can hardly wait to put your cooking in my mouth!

Tanya: Oh uh… it's not for us…

Victor: Oh… right.

Tanya: Joni says it helps with Chelsea's problem, so I think it's worth a shot.

Victor: She didn't like it that much to begin with, what makes you think she'll want it now?

 _Tanya ponders for a sec, then smiles and brushes some of the hay scraps off of Victor's shirt into the bowl._

Victor: You know you should really be running the Chill Grill…

 _Cory walks into the house, tosses his backpack onto the couch, and hugs his mother._

Cory: Hey mom, how's it going…

Tanya: All right son what'dya want?

Cory: Fine, can I invite William over tonight? There's this new game…

Tanya: No.

Cory: But come on, it's…!

Victor: No means no Cory!

Cory: Aw man! How long is this gonna last?

Tanya: As long as it has to. You can invite your friends over once I have less beef with your sister.

Cory: You know we do have that grill in the garage…

 _Both Victor and Tanya glare at their son disapprovingly. Cory smirks and puts his hands up while shaking his head back and forth._

Cory: Just saying…

 _Cory then starts smelling the kitchen and immediately changes the subject._

Cory: Man that smells amazing Mom, I can't wait to…

Tanya: It's for your sister honey. Also, I decided to by a few more air fresheners for the kitchen and the backyard to disguise the… excessive fertilizer we use for the flowers.

Cory: That dooty ain't my duty, unless…

Tanya: No, you can't take any to school with you.

Cory: Just once? For Carlos' backpack?

Tanya: No means…

 _Suddenly the door to the backyard opens. It's pushed forward with a long head and the Baxters stop talking when they hear the door creak and two hooves clop on the hardwood floor. A Holstein cow enters the house, staring at them blankly while chewing cud in her mouth and swishing her tail back and forth to swat away the flies near her rear as the door rests on the middle of her large stomach._

Raven: What'cha making Mom? I'm starving!

 _The Baxters still aren't completely comfortable with their daughter's current condition, and wonder how much of their conversation Raven heard with her large ears._

Tanya: I uh, I'm trying out corn for you tonight.

Raven: Sounds go-… great! That'll go well after I'm done with this alfalfa!

Victor: Didn't I give that to you a few hours ago?

Raven: Yeah, and it tastes even better the second time around!

 _The Baxters all look at each other disgusted, then look back at the cow like nothing just happened. It's easier to get away with it thanks to her poor depth perception._

Tanya: Need anything honey? Oats? Brush? Water?

Raven: Nah, kiddie pool's still halfway full. But there is something I need from you guys…

Victor: Is it that time of the day?

Raven: It's that time of the day.

Tanya: What time of… oh. Well, just wait outside dear, and… one of us will be with you in just a sec.

Raven: Thank yooOOOOOOOO!

 _Raven lifts her head slowly and bellows out loud in a low-pitched Bass 2 voice with her last word. The family stands in awkward silence. Raven slowly lowers her head, turns her body around (showcasing a full udder in the process), and walks back outside alone alternating each of her four hooves while continuously swishing her tail left and right._

Cory: I'm not doing it. Dad, it's your turn.

Victor: I did it this morning son. And your mom's busy with the corn.

Cory: What about Eddie, is he coming tonight?

Tanya: Eddie's with Chelsea tonight Cory, now suck it up and go out there.

Cory: But Mom…

Tanya: Cory, don't make me say it…

Cory: Mom…

Victor: For the love of great granny Baxter son, don't make her say it.

 _Cory starts whining in a high-pitched voice._

Cory: But I don't wanna do it!

Tanya: CORY BAXTER, GO OUTSIDE AND MILK YOUR SISTER!

 _The Baxters are silent for a second and try to hear movement to ensure no one listened to what Tanya just yelled. Cory starts whispering._

Cory: But she kicks me whenever I do it!

Victor: Well don't pull her… you know, so hard! Now go out there and do what needs to be done, or no dinner!

Cory: What are we having tonight?

Tanya: Roasted chicken.

Cory: Aw man, it's been so long since I've had a nice, juicy hambur…

 _Victor and Tanya look like they're ready to explode on their son. Cory knows it's time to stop bargaining._

Cory: Yeah, I'll get the bucket!

 _Cory quickly runs outside as his parents stand in intense silence. Tanya then bursts into tears._

Tanya: The visions were hard enough, how are we gonna keep this a secret! She might as well move to your aunt's farm!

Victor: Still not in the best of terms with them at the moment. Though Trixie might be a good BFF…

 _Tanya starts crying further._

Victor: Listen, listen. We'll get through this, all right? We just need to be patient. Viv knows what she's doing. I believe in her. We'll get our daughter back soon. All right?

 _Tanya sniffles and stops shedding tears._

Tanya: All right. All right. We can do this.

 _The couple hugs each other and enjoys a brief moment of silence, until it's broken by the sound of Cory yelling and a metal bucket falling over._

Cory: MOM, SHE WHACKED ME WITH HER TAIL!

Raven: MMMMOOOOOOO!

 _Raven is suddenly brought back to the present. She quickly stands up and starts putting her hands all over her body. She sits down even more frightened than before. Chelsea grabs onto Raven's hands and attempts to calm her down._

Chelsea: Rae, Rae? Are you all right? Did you have another vision?

 _Raven stops breathing heavily and looks at her hands. No hooves in sight._

Raven: Chelsea, do you still have that button in your purse?

 _Chelsea starts digging and pulls out a button with a red slash over a brown cow's face._

Chelsea: This one? Thanks for reminding me I was going to go protes-

 _Before Chelsea can finish the sentence, Raven snatches the button from her friend's hand, places it on the same plate as her burger, and dumps both of them in a nearby garbage can._

Chelsea: Rae what did you do that for?

Raven: My life is complicated enough, Chelsea. I don't need an udder problem.

Chelsea: Say what?

Raven: I said I don't need ANOTHER problem. Forget Alana's Halloween bash. Let's just make it a girl's night out.

Chelsea: I'm down with that, let's party till the cows come home!

 _Raven glares at her with a cold stare._

Chelsea: Yeah… I'll shut up now.


End file.
